Two weeks ago I saw my lover.
He was my second client ever in my profession.
He has always been a loyal client, never asking for more than the pleasure of our allocated time.
Even not after telling him I quit sex work but willing to make an exception for him.
He never asked for more, while other clients always wanted more.
We enjoy each other’s company, and that’s it.
Sex is fun, but not the most important thing. (At least not in my eyes)
Most of the time we enjoy lying in bed, intimately, talking about funny and serious things.
We just ‘are’. And that’s beautiful. No expectations, just enjoying.
No prejudices (or barely any).
With him I’m now able to talk about sex work without seeing him cringe, something he always tried to hide meticulously. Of course, he never succeeded.
During our latest encounter, I asked him why he cringed hearing the idea of me being a prostitute.
Not receiving a sensible answer, I continued talking about the importance of sex at modern times. This reminds of a famous quote of Marlène Dietrich:
While we weren’t in America, this saying is striking for many regions, religions and cultures in the world.
As people have made sex, a natural biological act, seem like a huge aspect of life and themselves, that’s were the stigma begins: Courtesans or tawaifs and sex workers can never exist in the same way they existed before. They were revered for their feminine arts. Sex happened, but it wasn’t a big deal as it would be in modern times.
Today even the most intelligent and skilled courtesan would be simplified as ‘a sex object’.
While sex is a simple biological process.
It’s a small part of people’s life. Why make it so big? Why make it something it isn’t?
Even during a period when there were no such precautions as existing today, sex wasn’t as important as it is now.
That’s what I told my lover. And he understood.
He understood it very well. From then on, the cringe on his face no longer showed.
This is my own thought, something I derived from a saying from Sadhguru:
Unfortunately I cannot play the video here. I need to upgrade.
Sex, Sexuality and the Divine : “Once you could not accept the simple biological differences between a man and a woman, and what happens…
That’s where the whole exploitation of the woman started.
If we had no problem with the biology…we would not make a distiction between who is who..
Everybody would be know for what they’re worth.
Whether somebody was brought/born to you a virgin or a prostitute, what’s your problem?
What the man is worth that’s all that matters, isn’t it?
So whether somebody is a man or a woman, what’s your problem?
What that person is worth, that’s all that should matter to you.
You don’t have to make the biology sacred nor do you have to make it fithy.
It’s simply there. It’s simply life (…..).
I you know how to live it, without decorating it or without making it ugly.
…it has a beauty of it’s own”
I’d like to write down the whole content of the video, but that’s not very interesting nor useful.
But if you have time, certainly watch the video. 😉