My Desire

Unfulfilled desires
Fulfill these desires,
Take advantage of my lust,
I need you, Need you here and need you now,
My body, It Aches for you,
These lips upon my face they desire yours to rhythmically move against them,
I will beg on my knees if I must,
But I need you, Need you close to me, I need your body close warming mine,
The darkness lived in our hearts but once we’re reunited,
The light will shine through once more,
So please let my dreams, Let my desires, All become reality, Just Be, Be Mine.

-Victoria Blackmire-

Some of you might question…

Doesn’t she have greater goals in life, than just prostitution? Yes. I want to find, or at least pursue that one thing most of us are looking for, love. I think sometimes; If I had found someone I loved, would I have entered prostitution? No, I think that the lack of thereof somehow is another reason why I took the decision. Because there is no one I’m really ‘bound’ to. I simply don’t feel responsible to someone. I don’t feel I have to explain my behaviour to someone..

And still…. I long for this one man. This one man who is not available (typically me).
I know this man since two years. He’s sweet, adventurous, free-spirited and loves beautiful young women.
My character of Anthony is based on him. I didn’t have much time, and I wasn’t in the mood by the way, to write some more erotic stories.
But these stories are the outcome of a deep unfulfilled desire.
Unlike my short stories, my interest in him is not merely sexual.
I crave for him in an intimate way…And I never felt this  before.
I have the feeling he knows me in a way no one knows me.
During our third date, he asked me: ‘Are you afraid to love?’
I startled… How does he know? Why does he want to know that anyway?
Why didn’t I say he was a frank, ignorant person?
He’s so tender and also very strange…
He calls up emotions in me that I don’t even like to show to someone.

And there is another strange thing I noticed during our meetings.
I don’t think I can have sex with him…
My body screams for more, but my mind screams…No!
Strange as it is, I can have sex with everyone (so to speak), except with the man I long for. We had passionate moments together, but intercourse didn’t happen so far. These moments are so intense for me it almost hurts…. And I wonder if it’s a good idea. For him also. Something has happened in the past. I don’t have a sixth sense, but I see that. In his eyes…. there is something we share….and I don’t know what…
Will I ever find out? Will I ever find myself out?

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