I can only talk about my experience. And my experience has been positive, at large.
Maybe it’s because of my way of advertising, but my clients have always been polite.
I offer a GFE, and the texts on my ads are always playful, but never explicit. (except for my rules on hygiene and on the demands I’m willing to grant).
Also, I’ve always had a chance to ‘screen’ my clients. I arrange all my appointments through e-mail, and if a man doesn’t answer in a respectful way, no way I’m going to meet him!
It never happened to me that a client called me names, or didn’t want to use the condom.
I have to say, I’ve been very lucky up to now.
Luckily, I have the chance to turn down disrespectful clients, but I’m aware of sex workers who are in situation where they can’t refuse. F.ex. if you’re forced, out of financial necessity, if you are threatened by other people….
A decent man with a bit of common sense will respect the rules I set up, but I realize there will be a future client who won’t be that decent. I have no idea when this will happen, and somehow I hope it won’t happen to me, ever.
But I’m not in a position to assume that.
If a tall man doesn’t treat me kindly and doesn’t respect my rules of sexual hygiene, the only thing I can do is to keep cool and go to the doctor as quick as possible.
And fortunately , I’ve met some people (health professionals) I can trust.
I think a lot of clients have wrong assumptions about prostitutes.
I have had a date recently, with a man who didn’t dare to take any sexual initiative.
He asked me if I had been misused, If I was forced to do this work.
I explained to him I really like sex work, and that no one forced me to do this.
Having a nice talk was actually the only thing that happened during that date, but obviously, he came to like me. He has made a new appointment, and I’m looking forward to it…
Another problem is a lot of clients tend to think sex workers don’t care for their bodies and health. And, apparently, some clients don’t care about their own health either.
It never happened to me, but some clients try to convince prostitutes to have sex without protection by offering more money. And if you really need the money…you are an easy victim.
Yes… I know… You all know about this probably.
Everyone knows about abuse, and the serious sex workers take each time.
But not everyone agrees when it comes to solutions.
Some want more regulation of sex work, some want to prohibit any form of prostitution, some want to see the clients being arrested….
Here is what I think. Prohibition and abolition never worked to solve a problem.
Take the binge drinking problem, f. ex.
– By enforcing total denial from the ‘forbidden fruit’, one is prone to take even more risks, certainly when it comes to sex, drugs, and alcohol.
– One is ashamed of talking about sex, and has unprotected sex. (peer pressure plays an important role, also)
– One isn’t allowed to drink. He or she plans to drink with friends in the basement, when the parents aren’t home. While they aren’t allowed to drink, teenagers tend to drink as much as they can, because maybe there won’t be a next time. And that’s how serious accidents can happen, right?
Well, the same goes for sex. Whether it’s in a more common context, between two lovers, or between a prostitute and a client. In both cases, consents have to be made.
As soon as shame and the lack of assertiveness have the upper hand, things can become unpleasant, for both parties. With abolition and prohibition, governments are forcing sex workers to live an even more hidden life, and the consequences are that these people have very little chance to speak up for themselves.
It’s also my opinion it’s ridiculous to abolish and prohibit sex work, for sex work has its roots in sex itself. People have been trading sex since time immemorial. F.ex. “Do you want some more food, spread your legs for me then.”
The difference is that women can use sex nowadays more as a form of manipulation and power, since the pill and condom were invented about 50 years ago. (the condom does exist much longer, I know).
So, if one wants to abolish sex work, then he also must abolish sex. And that’s not going to happen. The best thing to do, is to strive for a more humane image and situation for practicing prostitution.
And Yes, some sex workers are victims of trafficking, some sex workers are drug addicts, some sex workers are abused, I can’t deny that! But the image that the media and society are giving to sex work is very blunt, monotonous, and narrow.
And that’s how normal folks judge the erotica business; very unfounded, based on assumptions and the negative issues they hear in the media.
And I hope to shed a light with writing my blog.
I want to shed light in a dark corner. 🙂