I couldn’t have said it better myself. I applied for a job in a ‘high class’ sensual massage salon but I was rejected.
I was too open about my past and too naïve to think all sex workers consider themselves being in the same boat.

The Honest Courtesan

I have no respect for the passion for equality, which seems to me merely idealizing envy.  –  Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr

Among the few facts about sex work that everyone agrees upon is that there is a “whorearchy”, a sort of class system among sex workers.  Now, nobody agrees on anything about that system, only that it exists.  Many strippers, dominatrices, porn actresses, etc insist not only that they aren’t whores, but that they’re better than we are; those whose professions have separated enough from ours that they aren’t even considered sex workers any more (such as actresses and especially masseuses) can be very pompous about it.  Prostitutes, on the other hand, sometimes see themselves as better, smarter, more discreet, etc than strippers or porn starlets; sugar babies and other halfway whores deny that they’re sex workers at all; and some unusually self-deluded escorts will even try to draw…

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Can I ever love…?

Dear readers,

This evening a lovely colleague at my ‘normal’ job confessed his love for me…to me.
He is actually one of the people that keep me from leaving my job (and feeling like a total ‘wage-slave’).
He helps me, he makes me laugh, he jokes,…he makes work a little bearable.
I knew he was very fond of me, but he never said it out loud, never made a ‘confession’.

‘Please…say I’m not wrong, say I’m not crazy for loving you. Please tell me you think of me.’
These were the last sentences of his message. He never dared to say it to me in real life.
It’s heartbreaking to tell I cannot fake love. I told him my true feelings…
That I’m very fond of him… That I appreciate his gestures…But that I cannot return his love.
Even if I loved him back, the way he loved me,…. I wouldn’t tell.
To carry a secret like this is a true burden. People don’t understand why I’m not having a boyfriend or any kind of stable romantic relationship…..
But readers with an erotic profession will hopefully understand.
How can you love and have a relationship if you can’t be honest about an important part of yourself? You tell me, dear readers?




Lone wolves

Dear readers,

It has been a while since I wrote something.
At first, I highly doubted if I should write this. 
Yet, I think it’s relevant to some people here coming across my blog. 

It’s been very hard to adjust and to keep holding on to a full-time work regime, especially when my body cannot hold it much longer. I’m not that strong,  I’ve realized.
I’m a factory worker at the moment.
Like most modern-day ‘wage-slaves’, I’m purely an executor.
There is no room for critical thinking or something close to that.
I’ve been doing this for eight months now and the last three months it’s as if my body, my brain, the feelings that come with it have become numb.
I often ‘function’ in robot mode.
Everything that has excited me at the beginning of this new, ‘normal’ job, this ‘normal’ life, leaves me completely unimpressed nowadays.
Staying friendly or putting a smile on my face has become an effort…

I need some excitement in my life and I’ve been thinking about turning back to the erotic sector. I’ve applied to some massage parlors/unofficial brothels.
But I’m stuck in between worlds…. I’m stuck in between ‘choices’.
Choices that don’t really exist.
(Prostitution) abolitionists say that prostitutes and other sex workers don’t really have a choice. ‘They sell themselves out of utter desperation.’
But, may I ask you…?
How many people Don’t sell themselves?
How many do what really matters to them?
How many people do something out of idealism?
How many people do something that exhibits their true talents?
How many people do actually have a choice?
Bless the people who are able to do execute their genuine choices.

I’m stuck….
Because I’m feeling guilty to think this way:
Why I’m not satisfied with a ‘normal’ job? Why can’t I work a normal day job?
Why am I so tired from hearing all these ‘mainstream’ people talk about everything without having to fear rejection?
Of course, I know the latter is a false assumption.
Maybe some of them have a secret that they guard at all times…..?
Maybe some of them feel marginalized too but are able to hide it really well….?

I know, I’m the one bothering myself with these questions.
But the truth is: I’m feeling completely marginalized.
My view on this society is rather gloomy at this moment.
There are moments…I begin to understand why some people want to do really extreme things… (far beyond the ‘crime’ of prostitution).
In now way I condone it. Let that be clear.
But I begin to understand why people turn out to be ‘dangerous lone wolves’.
Whatever choice they’ll make in life.
They will never be satisfied.
They will never be happy.
They turn to extreme ideologies or use these ideologies to justify their crimes.
Terrible things happen because these people are seeking intensity in their lives.

Right or wrong. It’s intensity that people need. When they don’t find it in a wholesome way, they try to find it somewhere else.

It all sounds really desperate. That’s because I am.
It’s high time for me to change something in my life.
Time to become a seeker. Time to find a spiritual path.


Erotic Story: Female Desires

I have a nice female acquaintance, Lisa.
We don’t see each other a lot, but I’m always happy to see her again.
Her appearance is youthful, making her look younger than she is.
Her body is a real pleasure to look at.
She’s far from fat, but everything about her is round and feminine.
Even her face and her eyes, complete with super long eyelashes.
Oh, and her breasts…. They are so full and round.
I often catch myself staring at those beautiful curves.

One day, we decided to take a walk in the park , not far from my house.
And yes, I caught myself staring at her breasts, again…..
Oops! She noticed it!
I tried to disguise my inappropriate behavior.
“Well….you wear a nice blouse.”, I stammered.
My goodness, what a fake reaction……
She blushed, and it made her look even more beautiful.

She’s cute , she’s funny, she has a good heart….
But she’s very insecure about her body, not to mention shy when it comes to sex.
Fortunately, not too shy to tell me her experiences. She knows she can talk about these things, because ‘I have expertise’.
And I often notice she feels ashamed of herself. She never takes the initiative, even not when her boyfriend asks what she likes.
And these are foreign thoughts, to me, for I’m to opposite.
I absolutely feel no shame during sex, I feel free.

And just like other times, I tried to make clear to her that she didn’t have to feel embarrassed.
“You’re young, beautiful, and attractive. Don’t you see that men find you attractive?”
She blushed: “I never noticed that.”
“I think you’re attractive too, even as a woman.”
Ooops, I said too much.
She blushed.
I confirmed my words again. “Really, I think you are attractive. I’d like to have sex with you, if I were a man.”
Lisa answered:”And, as being a women, would you want to have sex with me?”
I gulped. I never had sex with a woman!
“Hmm. Yes, maybe…..”
Lisa didn’t wait for my reaction; “I suppose that’ no?” . Her face cramped.
Her expression was hard to describe.
I said:”No, I didn’t mean that! But I don’t have any experience with women!”
She laughed: “Then you are not so experienced as you claim to be!”
And these were the last words we spoke, during our walk.

Then we arrived at my home.
I was supposed to make dinner, because it was almost dinner time.
And I didn’t feel like it…

The phone rang……
“Good evening, who is that speaking?….. Anthony!”

Yes, that was Anthony, The Anthony from my first story.
He had become a part of my life, since we met at the restaurant.

“Hi, Aphrodite, everything is fine? I want to see you. Can I come to you, now?”
“I’m really sorry, but Lisa is here. We still have to prepare dinner, and I have no idea what to cook.”
Anthony answered: “Well, I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you come over here, with Lisa?”
I beamed.
Lisa saw it , and asked: “Who is that?
“That’s Anthony, the handsome man I met two weeks ago. He asks if we want to come to his place.
Hopefully he will have made a nice dinner.”

Lisa: “Oh, sounds great. I wonder what he’s like.”
Yes, you certainly do, I thought.
Within an hour we arrived at his place.
“Oh, I’m honored to entertain two lovely women, this evening”, he said.
“You’re a such a flatterer, Anthony.” I said.
I winked at Lisa.

His cookery didn’t disappoint us. He made us a tasty lasagna.
And he poured three glasses of the same wine he poured at ‘our’ first meeting.
He introduced himself to Lisa. “I don’t think I introduced myself already,
I’m 40 years old, accountant, and above all, Aphrodite’s sexual possession.”
I protested: “Please Anthony, you’re not a saint. It’s not like I’m your only woman.
And besides, who says you’re my only man?……..” I loved to tease him.
Indeed, He was the only man who could offer me such a great sex.

After that very suggestive comment, the three of us chatted on laughed, and Anthony poured wine for the third time.
I protested: “Not too much wine please. I don’t know if my stomach can endure more wine.”
Lisa also declined the offer.
I looked at her. She was blushing, due to the wine, I think.
I felt that I had become unabashed.
And I started fondling her hair. Lisa giggled.
And then I looked at Anthony. He was enjoying the view.
I knew what he wanted, and that I wanted it too.

I kept caressing her hair and then I continued by touching her neck.
“Oh…?” She was surprised.
But she didn’t have to worry. Not in my presence or Anthony’s.
“I know this is exciting for you, Lisa. Do you want to feel my hands on your skin?”
Lisa hesitated.
“You don’t have to feel shy, Lisa.”
Then I kissed her lips, very softly.
I saw her glance had changed. She looked at me, yearning for more.
And she could get more, much more.
I pulled out her blouse.
“You have such a nice breasts.”, I said.
“Hmmmm………thank you.”
She let escape little moans, while I kissed her breasts.
I sucked on her nipples, and bit the soft skin, very gently.
“Ooh, this feels so good…”. Lisa moaned.

I looked at Anthony. He had loosened his pants.
He was busy satisfying himself, while he lustfully observed us.
I encouraged her:“ I want you to enjoy every sensation you’re going to feel this evening.
And I want you to not feel guilty about it, promise?”
“Yes…..I promise.” I let my hand slip into her nickers. She was soaking wet.
I pulled her against my body. Her naked back touched my breasts.
I felt her lower body moving. She curved her back and pushed her butt against my lab.
“I want to undress you too, Aphrodite.”
She turned around and released me from my skintight dress.
There we were, both dressed in only nickers.

“Well Anthony, you’re so far away. You’re allowed to come closer, so you can have a better view…..”
He didn’t hesitate of course. He walked straight to Lisa.
He gave me a wink.
I held her face up, so I could intensely kiss her.
I gave her a little warning: “Anthony is interested in you too. Do you allow him?”
“Yes….. I want to feel him too…”
While I was pleasing her breasts, he took off her nickers, and started massaging her buttocks.
Lisa sighed:“Oooh… keep going. You too Aphrodite.”
Her eyes turned watery, so horny she was.
Her lower body moved faster and faster. I felt her fluid dripping off my fingers.
But then I stopped. “I think you want to feel something else than my fingers, don’t you?”
Her eyes grew big.

Anthony led her to the table. Yes, that table where he and I fucked for the first time.
He let her lie on her back. I looked her in the eyes to put her at ease.
“Oooh….” Anthony’s penis entered her pussy.
Ooooh, this scene was so extremely erotic……

Her breasts were wobbling at the rhythm of Anthony’s poundings.
And I kept kissing her, her breasts, her neck, her belly, her feet…
Every bodypart of her was lovable. And she had tiny feet. I tickled them.
“OoOh, aaaahh”. She laughed. A vein in her neck was shown. Her orgasm was not far off.
Anthony sped up the rhythm.
“Aaah….Aaaah….. I’m going to come.” She closed her eyes.
“No stop,…not….yet….oooh!”
She came hard and intense.
And she was totally exhausted after that.
But Anthony didn’t came, yet.
I was surprised he could hold it up so long. He wasn’t satisfied yet.
“Hmmm, do you need a blowjob?”
I took him in my mouth. I heard him moaning.
“Oh, you’re so good…..your mouth is so hot…hmmm.”
I kept looking in his eyes, while I was licking his glans and shaft.
“You like it when I look at you, like that…so submissive…”
I grabbed his buttocks, to make him more horny.
“I want to come in you, while she’s watching…..”, he grumbled.
“Now turn around.”, he took me from behind.
My buttocks touched his crotch, with every pounding.
He penetrated me hard and fast.
“Oooh yes, come in me, please!”
He grabbed my hips and squirted his sperm in me.
He gave a loud cry of delight.
And the three of us rested, all naked, all horny, all wet….

Lisa smiled and her eyes beamed.
“How do you feel , now you’ve tried something new?”
She giggled: “Better than ever. I didn’t feel any hesitation. I never felt like that before.”
I answered: “And I never felt a body like that before”.

And then we both laughed.


Erotic story: A handsome stranger.

A few months ago, I met a man who occupies my mind, from time to time.
From the first moment I saw him, I knew he was different.
Different from all the men who had satisfied my needs before.
I was sitting in a quite and cosy tearoom, sipping my tea. A man, sitting on the table opposite me, caught my eye.
He was busy reading the newspaper, with an earnest look in his eyes.
His face looked tense but kind. It wasn’t clean-shaven, but honestly, his beard suited him, giving him a more masculine look.
I took him to be in his forties.
Although he was sitting, I also noticed he was blessed with a tall, slender figure, packed in a nice sober black suit.
Under his suit-jacked, he we wore an ashen shirt.
On his left wrist, he wore a silver watch. And I didn’t see a wedding ring.
I was sipping my tea, when he looked up, an looked right into my eyes. His eyes were dun-colored.
I looked away, embarrassed.
He went on reading his newspaper.
I looked outside the window. It was raining softly.
Suddenly I felt a glance resting upon me. I didn’t dare to look.
I finally succeeded to turn my eyes off of the window.
The man was smiling at me.
I smiled back, but immediately looked away. I felt I was blushing.
‘Why? This never happens to me, normally.’, I thought.
I mustered up my courage, and said: “You looked so serious a while back. Were you reading something interesting?”
He said: “Not really. The common problems, over and over again. The usual strikes and protests against the governmental savings.
Therefore nothing news, nothing interesting. But it’s necessary off course, keeping up with the current events.”
I smiled sheepish. Didn’t know what to say.
I said: “Are you waiting for a train?”
He answered: “No, but I’m waiting for an acquaintance. He should be arriving by now. ” He took a look at his watch.
I took my cup of tea in my hand.
“You have beautiful hands. So tiny and feminine.”, he noticed.
I put down my cup of tea, and smoothed my cheek with my fingers.
He said: “I don’t think we introduced ourselves. I am Anthony.”
I replied: “Aphrodite, nice to meet you, Anthony.”
‘I had been watching you for a while. You look so mysterious.’, he said, with twinkling eyes.
I was bewildered. I thought I’d noticed him first.
And his reaction was shameless. Another man probably couldn’t have afforded this.
“Oh… I think you look okay.” I had no idea how this comment affected him.
I must have looked stupid, saying this.
“I hope you’re not up to something, Aphrodite.”, he said, smilingly.
I said; “Of course not. Look, I think your acquaintance has arrived. A man is waving at you.”
Anthony:”Oh, I totally forgot  about him.
But that happens, if I’m offered the occasion to observe such a beautiful lady like you.”
How impudent he was!
“Goodbye Aphrodite. I hope we’ll meet again.”
I noticed my tea was cold. I decided to go home.
And I couldn’t get him off my mind.
The next day I passed the tearoom. No Anthony.
The day after. No Anthony either.
I gave up my hope to see him again.
“Oh, he is just a handsome and playful stranger, who I’m never going to meet again.”
A week passed by.
I needed to find some nice clothes, since summer came.
After I tried on lots of clothes, I finally found this nice, light-blue dress.
Eventually, I bought a pair of sexy black high heels. I looked forward to try it on again at home.
While daydreaming, I strolled past the shops.
Until… Someone bumped into me.
I couldn’t keep myself in check.
I said, quite loudly; “Hey, watch out please. The street belongs to everybody!”
I heard a soft laughter.
“Hihi, what a reaction!” ,… Anthony!
I was surprised. “I didn’t expect you here! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.
But….. is this your way to attract attention?”
He replied: ” Well, most seducing phrases don’t work. So I tried another way.”
We walked next to each other, in silence.
“Unfortunately, I don’t have much time right now. But can I be so impolite, and ask your number?”
He looked hopefully.
I said: “Hmm, I have a better idea. Why don’t you give me your number. So I can call you, If I’ll have the intention to do so.”
He gave me his number.
I had resolved that I was not going to call him that soon.
But I gave in, after all.
A week later, I called him.
“Dear Anthony, you’re talking to Aphrodite, remember?”
Anthony didn’t wait for me to continue.
“I want to see you. Tomorrow evening. Will we meet at the tearoom, where we first met?”
I had to take a look in my agenda.
“Okay. That’s fine by me. I look forward to it.”
Anthony said, laughing: “Can’t wait to see you.”
Fwwww……I was excited and nervous at a time.
I decided to take a hot bath with lots of foam, before I would go to bed.
While I was lying in my bath to relax, and I imagined my hands were his.
I caressed my neck, my collar-bone, my breasts, my belly, my thighs…..
Untill my hands arrived at the ultimate spot of pleasure.
I softly caressed my clitoris and my lips. I closed my eyes, so this one spot could have my full attention.
‘Hmmm…. Anthony, I want to have you there….’ I curved my back.
Then I let my fingers glide into my pussy, and moved them, rhythmically.
I felt the muscles contracting…..
Now I could relax and sleep.
I slept heavenly.
The next day I had trouble studying.
I couldn’t stop thinking of him. Of all the things we could do together…….
The hours crawled by like days.
By late afternoon I quit studying and I listened to music.
Seven o’clock. Time to go.
At seven and a half I arrived at the tearoom. Anthony arrived 5 minutes later.
We both ordered a drink, but we didn’t stay long. Anthony was seemingly impatient.
“Why do you have to be so fast. Do you have to go somewhere?
You could’ve said it to me, if our appointment turned out to be inconvenient to you.”
Anthony started laughing. “Inconvenient? Your company is not inconvenient. But yes, we have to go somewhere, you and me. We can walk to my apartment. It’s not so far from here.”
To his apartment?….. I knew how stupid it was, to just give in to his wishes, but I agreed, nevertheless.
We arrived at his apartment ten minutes later. My feet hurt already.
He showed me the living room. It was nicely designed, and very neat.
I didn’t expect him to be so clean.
We continued our way to the kitchen, which was quite modern, and above all, spacious.
“Have a seat please. Make yourself at home. I’d like to pour myself a glass of wine. You want some too?”
“Oh thank you, I’d like to drink some wine.”
He poured two glasses of wine. He took place next to me, and moved his chair closer to mine.
He stared at me, and I started to become a little uncomfortable.
“You have penetrating eyes, Anthony. I start to feel embarrassed.”
“Why you have to be embarrassed. You are a beautiful woman, and I like to watch you.”
His fingers touched my arm. I got goosebumps.
He noticed it. “Hmmm, are you cold? I can make you feel warm.”
I smiled, again sheepish.
“But first, let me release you from these painful shoes.”
He gently took off my shoes and his hand caressed my ankle. It continued its way to my calf, and my thigh.
Meanwhile, I was twirling his thick hair and I saw he found it pleasant.
I felt so excited…. I pulled his arms, so that he was forced to resettle himself on his chair.
“I want you to undress me, Anthony.” I lay his hand on my breast.
And he didn’t disappoint me…..
He pulled my dress over my head. And I sat there, only wearing my bra and nickers.
His hand disappeared in my nickers.
“Well, you are really delicious, Aphrodite.”
He started kissing my neck and my shoulders. I sighed from pleasure.
His other hand kneaded my breasts. With one hand he removed my bra.
‘He’s experienced’, I thought.
Then, his fingered gently entered my vagina. My breath caught.
“You’re so wet, naughty woman.” He started to rhythmically move his fingers.
My lower body followed his movements.
I was riding his hand. I felt building up tension.
“Oh…..please, don’t stop… please….go faster.”
But that weren’t his plans. He took is fingers out of my pussy, and let me lick my own honey from his fingers.
“Hmm… you make me so hot, doing that, Aphrodite. Now it’s time for you to indulge me.”
He pulled out his pants and underwear.
His penis was nice, large and straight, with a thick shaft.
I let my tongue glide over his glans, and kept stimulating it.
“Hmmm….you’re good, keep going…”
My tongue was now pleasing his shaft. I licked it, made circles, I sucked.
Anything to please him.
I didn’t forget his scrotum of course. While I took his penis deep in my mouth, I kneaded his balls, very gently.
Anthony sped up the pace. This made me even more horny.
‘I want you to take me.’, I moaned.
He led me to the kitchen table.
“Turn around.” I obeyed. Now I was trapped between his body and the table.
He tapped my butt. “Nice ass you have there.” Now he slapped it, hard.
“Oh…..” His penis penetrated my pussy. My eyes turned watery from lewdness.
I bent over the table, so that he could fuck me deeper.
He kept taking me at a fast pace. My body started shaking.
“Oh no…I’m going to come. ……I can’t hold it anymore!”
I lied on the table, helpless and floundering….asking for more, deeper, and harder…
Anthony turned me around, so I lied on my back.
He laid my legs upon his shoulders, so that he could penetrate my very deep.
The look in his eyes was beyond words. His eyes shone with pure lust.
Like a wolf watching his prey….
I closed my eyes, to feel his movements even better.
I lost control. I moaned and screamed.
I felt a wave of burning heath and planted my nails in his back.
Anthony answered with a growl.
Anthony slowed his pace. Till suddenly, he pounded me, rock-hard.
He did it again, and again, and again. He moaned intensely.
“Ohhh, yes,… Oh God… oh shhhh……”
And then he came. I felt his sperm squirting in me.
The next moment we both lay on the table.
He hugged and kissed me, caressing my neck with his lips. I giggled.
“Oh, Aphrodite. You are so delicious. It’s been a long time I had sex, and I really needed it.
You came at the right moment. I’m at the height of my career.
I have no time to start a relationship. But I really missed woman’s body. You fulfilled my wishes tonight.”
I answered; “Hmm, I would like to fulfill your wished, and not only this time….”

The way it is.

“To make a simple physical act beautiful we have invented all kinds of decorations around it. Without those decorations, most people would be unwilling to get into this physical act. A lot of people cannot simply face the basic physical act as it is, because, unless it’s decorated, they will feel ‘obscene’, they will feel like an animal, they will feel so basic and physical. Which is the reality. In some way, we’re trying to cloud our vision of reality with lots of decorations. We always add emotion to it, without emotion it would be ugly.”



Being an ‘exotic’ sex worker

I consider myself ‘exotic’ as a sex worker, simply because, at least not on the Internet, I haven’t discovered sex workers with the same ethnicity as mine.
I’m an Indian-born adoptee.
That being said: There is a huge diversity in India when it comes to ‘looks’. You cannot say ‘She’s is Indian and she’s not’, because of this diversity. People with all different ethnicities live in ‘the continent India.’

I definitely don’t look like some Bollywood star with fair skin. I’m dark skinned with dark eyes and black hair. Nothing really special.
Yet, I always experienced that extra attention, mostly coming from white men, and surprisingly, also Middle-Eastern men. I don’t know why.
I’m not at all fair-skinned. I’m dark-skinned. I’m not pristine in any way.

In the beginning my exotic appearance was a real marketing advantage.
Looking exotic and at the same time living in a very ‘Western’ way seems something very appealing. But looks can only impress for a very short period.
Sex is sex, after all. And if you have nothing else ‘interesting’ to give, people get bored of you very quickly. A unique life experience and showing genuine interest in clients always helps.  On the other hand, drawing clear boundaries is vital, for your own well-being as well as the client’s.
As a sex worker I still have morals. I never played games with clients and I never will. He pays, he repects my boundaries and I will do my best to give them a good time.
What I do depends on the client. There are many clients who want to give me pleasure.  My favourite client always insisted on that. (He’s a lover now).  Even nowadays, he makes great efforts to pleasure me and I’m barely allowed to give him pleasure, even though I’d like to.

But I digress…. Another post will come about my favourite client/lover.

I hope you’ll enjoy this post.